Take a breath. You've got this: Tips for calming the chaos of back-to-school

As a child, summers felt like an endless, free-flowing adventure. Summer break was biking to the corner store for candies, road trips, and camping. I didn’t have the slightest concept of what that season was for my parents: an impossible balancing act. That is, until now.

These days, I still enjoy those late-summer novelties—but I’m also juggling work, family life, and the transition into a new school year. Sound familiar? With back-to-school season underway, many parents are more than ready for some structure, balance, and—dare I say it—a bit of space.

What I’ve noticed in my work as a mental health therapist is that parents often enter the school year feeling mentally and emotionally drained. But with a little self-awareness, compassion, and some practical strategies, it’s possible to make the transition smoother for both you and your kids.

Why back-to-school is mentally exhausting

Let’s start with why this time of year tends to feel so overwhelming—so you can release some of that self-judgment and recognize that what you’re feeling is entirely valid.

The mental load is too heavy

Parenting often feels like being the ringleader of a chaotic circus. You’re not only responsible for logistics—getting your child to and from school, coordinating after-school care, adjusting your work schedule (again)—but also for all the emotional and mental prep work.

There are bedtimes to reset, routines to re-establish, and backpacks, shoes, and supplies to buy. You only have so much cognitive capacity, and you’re running at full tilt.

Emotions are running high

Kids experience a whirlwind of emotions at the start of a new school year—uncertainty about friendships, nerves about their new teacher, and anxiety about the change in routine.

And you’re their emotional anchor. After spending all day trying to keep it together, your child might come home and let it all out—on you. It’s normal, but it’s also taxing. You’re the safe place for them to release their emotions, which adds to your own emotional load.

How to manage back-to-school stress

There are small but powerful ways to bring more ease and balance into your family’s daily life.

Be mindful of your emotional state

It’s easy to get swept up in the flurry of activities and demands. Take time to pause and ask yourself: How am I feeling right now?

When you can identify and name your emotions, you create space between yourself and those feelings. Maybe you’re overwhelmed—but also hopeful. Tired—but also excited for a fresh start. This self-awareness helps you move from reactive to intentional.

Practice self-compassion

Parents are often their own harshest critics. You might look around and feel like everyone else is handling it better—packing Instagram-worthy lunches, gliding through drop-off without breaking a sweat.

It’s okay if your morning routine is messy or your house looks lived-in. Self-compassion means giving yourself grace. Remind yourself, “This is hard—and it’s okay that I feel this way.” That simple shift in self-talk can ease internal pressure and calm your nervous system.

Cut corners when you can

Some things will inevitably fall through the cracks—and that’s okay. Be intentional about what you can let slide. Frozen dinners? Sure. Laundry piling up a little longer? Fine.

Lowering the bar, even temporarily, doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re adapting—and that’s a strength, not a weakness.

Soothe your nervous system

When stress peaks, your body can enter “fight or flight” mode, even if there’s no immediate danger. Grounding techniques like deep belly breathing or taking a moment to check in with your senses (what do I see, hear, smell, feel, and taste?) can bring you back to the present.

A few minutes of calm breathing or stillness can shift your brain out of panic mode and help you respond more thoughtfully.

How to help your kids handle the transition

Your kids are likely feeling a blend of nerves, excitement, and everything in between. You can’t shield them from every bump in the road, but you can help them feel supported.

Validate their feelings

Children often don’t know how to name what they’re feeling, especially when it’s a jumble of big emotions. Help them put words to it: “You’re excited and nervous at the same time—that makes total sense!”

When their emotions are acknowledged without judgment, they feel seen and safe.

Give your kids a sense of control

Back-to-school season can feel chaotic for kids too. Offering choices within structure—like letting them pick out their backpack or choose between two lunch options—helps them feel empowered and in control.

Also, preview what to expect at school: what the day might look like, how drop-off works, or what routines to anticipate. Predictability eases anxiety.

Create downtime

The beginning of the school year can be overstimulating. Prioritize quiet moments—especially ones without screens. Nature walks, reading time, or quiet play offer more restorative benefits than passive entertainment.

And try not to overschedule. Give your child time to breathe.

Start a routine of daily check-ins

Ask your child about the “rose and thorn” of their day—the best part and the hardest part. This simple ritual helps normalize talking about emotions and encourages ongoing communication.

You’ll find your rhythm

Transitions are hard. But you’ll find your new rhythm soon enough. There will be forgotten permission slips, emotional outbursts, and evenings where everyone is running on empty. And that’s part of it.

With time, you’ll settle into your new routines. And your kids will surprise you with their adaptability and strength. Eventually, you’ll look up and realize—you’ve made it through the storm and into the groove. And before you know it, summer will be calling again.

Summary of strategies

• Mindful check-in: How am I doing right now?

• Self-compassion: It makes sense that I feel this way.

• Cutting corners: What can I let go of for now?

• Creating inner calm: What small action can I take to center myself?